Bipolar Hope?
I was reading the blog I wrote chronicling the raising of my late son, who suffered from Bipolar Disorder. I started the blog in 2003 when my son was 19, and just graduated from high school. I maintained the blog until he died in 2008. But I read the early entries, and was reminded of the hope we had that each med would be his saving grace. Every parent goes through this, hoping that the med their child is on will ease their pain, and help them move towards normalcy. Usually, it doesn’t work. It’s all so futile, the doctors don’t know what or how to prescribe, it’s kind of like throwing a dart. And the meds often screw people up worse than the disorder. For anyone in this scenario I’d like to offer hope, but I really can’t. It’s working for me, I’m a great success in some ways, but a basket case in others. Day to day. Taking it day to day.
Memory Fading
It wasn’t that long ago I was blogging every day. Weighty topics, sometimes multiple times a day. On top of a personal blog I was blogging for a major online health website. But lately, it seems my memory won’t allow it. I get an idea I’d like to cover, think out the angles, and completely lose it 15 minutes later. This isn’t uncommon, I’ve had to write down ideas all my life. But now I’m talking literally minutes. Before I have a chance to write it down. I don’t know if it’s age, psych meds, or that I’m a product of the seventies. Hopefully it’s not early onset Alzheimers. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to work at the level I am now. Hopefully we can pay down some debt and refinance the house before I find myself in that boat.
It’s a nerve-wracking scenario, and it scares me. But then I forget to be nervous…
Bucket List
A friend and I were talking about “Bucket Lists” the other day. It got me thinking, I’ve done a lot of things, in fact, most of what I wanted to do in life. This being said, there’s still some things I’d like to do. Going forward, this will be a regular feature.
Bucket List entry 1:
I want to drop acid. Even though I was a BIG partier, I’ve never dropped acid. The first item in the bucket list.
Phone Technology
I got an iPhone not long ago, and it’s incredible. I’m a technology guy, but this exceeded all expectations. The processing power of this phone probably exceeded mainframes back in the seventies.
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The Right Hand Doesn’t Know What The Left Is Doing
A pair of articles from Psych Central:
July 22, 2010:
Alcohol May Be OK With Bipolar
July 23, 2010:
Higher Risk of Suicide in Bipolar Patients Who Abuse Alcohol
I know research changes quickly, but c’mon – the same publication, 1 day apart?
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